Frunk as Duck

Hola compadres. Me es muy consuelo. I got drunk in a bar here in Denton. We went to Tavern. And by we I mean Marc and I and Joanne and some of her friends. We had a good time. Marc and I played the worst pool of our lives and almost got beat by two girls. Ya, seriously. So, Joanne is upstairs Frunk as Duck. She is putting on PJ's and I am sure she is off to get some zzzzz's by now. Hopefully. Poor thing. I didn't even see her drink that much. She is so wonderful. Even as she was expelling those dreadful demons from her insides she looked absolutely beautiful. It was a blast.

Well, I have been joined again by Jo and she is wanting to go with me to my parents house for the rest of the evening. We are currently at her sorrority house where I am not allowed to go upstairs. That sucks ass. Oh well. I need to get her some clothes to wear tomorrow so I need to run, but I am having a blast at home. I love everyone.

PS...I havent figured out what I am doing for new years yet.

Last Night Sucked

My night last night was supposed to be filled with drinking and fun and a bon voyage to Dusty who was returning to Norman Oklahoma to continue his college football career. Things didn't exactly go as planned. Joanne was meeting us up there, me, Marc and Dusty and she was bringing some friends. Well, she read the comment left on my web site from That Guy and was astonished. Upset. I don't blame her. Things got straightened out and now everything is good again. Thank you Aaron for correcting the situation. I appreciate it. I feel bad because this whole fiasco caused me to leave the bar earlier than planned and I didn't exactly get to give a complete fairwell to my good friend who I won't get to see again any time soon. What a head ache.

I had a good Christmas. I got some good gifts and some interesting ones also. X-mas eve was a good time. My aunt and uncle rented the club house to their housing edition and we partied there. There was a pool table and a big screen TV with DVD and what not. We played pool and watched Napolean Dynamite and Elf and had a grand ol' time. Nana's was fun too. We did our gift exchange and ate lunch and I left early. I was getting sad because I miss my family so much. I almost started crying in the kitchen when I was talking to my uncle Tim. He asked me if I was glad to be home and I said yes and no because I love seeing my family, but it makes me so sad to think about leaving again. I never knew I would have feelings like that. I also felt bad for soemthing I said to Timmy. He is the best cousin I could ever ask for. It hurts to think about how glad everyone was to see me and how proud of me they are and all I have to say in return is how much I hate the Navy. I guess I really don't hate it that much because there are a lot of possibilities for me in Jacksonville. I just need to get my shit together. I need to graduate from college. I need to get shit in order. I need to start building a future instead of waiting for one to be built for me.

I have to go shave. Joanne and I are going to Addison to meet up with some of her friends. I haven't shaved in a few days and I am getting scruffy. I am sad right now. I also don't feel well. Being sad sucks, but being around Joanne cheers me up. But I will miss her as well when I depart. Enough of this. I ... I...gotta go. She dated P-rez. Ha, thats funny. Ant Eater. Ha.

Enlighten Me Please

Let me tell you a story. I have nothing to say.

The End

by Josh Tips

Response to a Comment

That Guy said...
It is my opinion, if one is to have a blog one intends on others to read, one should be blatant and blunt. I don't care about your feelings, I care about your opinions.

Here are my opinions...mostly facts though. That Guy is a doosh. He is a long haired tree hugging hippie. Frisbee throwing pot smoking flourescent lighting orgie infested freak. But overall I guess he is a good guy.

Maybe I should be a little more blunt in my blog. I just worry about other people's feelings. I guess I am not forcing anyone to read this web page though.

***Read At Your Own Risk***

For starters...This whole situation with Joanne sucks. I mean it is great, but it sucks at the same time. I fucked up. I told a lie. If I was home I would like to think that everything would be better. I would obviously get to see her much more often and that would take away so many of the stresses and problems that might arise. I don't like the thought of her dating other people. I am ok with it given the circumstances, but it makes me ill to even imagine the possibilities. I just think that there could be a future for the two of us. Distance sucks! I am getting off work. I will finish up tomorrow. I have duty all day tomorrow so I will be up here from 7:30am-10pm. Fun stuff. At least OC is on tomorrow. Sweet ass sweet.

Expletive!! Expletive!!

Freak!! If finding ways to mess up good things was a job...I would be CEO of the company. Things are all screwed up and it is all my fault. I am ashamed. Uncomfortable at best. Why!!?? Well, there is nothing I can do about it now except move on. And by move on I mean to adjust...roll with the punches. I made my bed and now I have to sleep in it which seems to be a continuing pattern for myself. What have I done? The last 10 years of my life...not wasted, but not exactly seized. Some people wait for that moment where they will shine. The dare to be great moment. Is that me? Or am I destined to be the pathetic insubordinate who can't keep his mouth shut and who fights for the wrong causes to prove a point that is self serving? I know why I do things. I think them through with very little thought. Why on earth would I show up to an event with mysterious facial hair knowing that it was going to cause a stir in my Coach? I knew what was going to happen. I knew what the end result would be. But there was that power struggle...the fight to be the top dog...the I am smarter than you and I have to take these measures to prove it to you even if it means losing my dream. Self destructive is what I have become. Is there a personality disorder for that? Someone once told me that I can't have a normal life. I have to have drama in my life to feel "normal". That is the norm. Am I a drama queen? Is that what I have become? I hope not. My life was ruined by one certain person. If I had to point the finger at one person, besides myself, it would be Her. She made me bitter. She made me lose sight of what was real and what had been there for the longest time. My life, my passion, my dream. I always said that I would never let a woman come between me and baseball...that didn't exactly hold true. I thought I had the perfect life. I thought that I had someone there who loved me and always would and someone who would be true to me. Nope. Boy, was I wrong! I was transformed from a loving, kind, trusting person into the exact opposite. I didn't always want drama. I wanted two point five kids and a white picket fence. I wanted a normal life. I didn't need to drive a Range Rover or BMW or Mercedes. Yes, it sure would have been nice, but nobody really needs that. Money isn't everything. It is nice to have, but will get you nowhere in the end. Where will it get you...nowhere. Material possesions are trophies. Seperation of one man from another. Anomaly: deviation from the common rule : IRREGULARITY something different, abnormal, peculiar, or not easily classified. Apply this as you wish. I for one am tired. Daily life is what you make of it and I am doing my best. So, this situation I have here...I say "follow your heart". What I want to say is no, don't, stop. But I realize that it is best for one to explore all obtainable options before making a sound decision. Although feelings may get hurt in the process I am sure that they are repairable. Go for it. I understand.

This is my best friend in the whole world and me.

I'm bigger than him. I continually kick his ass. He needs to hit the gym.

We call him That Guy. His real name is Aaron Bennett "Elvis" Presley


I have a new tattoo though.


Check out his page- It is an average site...nothing special.

http://neonlaundry.blogspot.com

Relationships

There are many factors that contribute to a healthy relationship. First and foremost is trust. Trust is something that has to be earned...it can be given until lost, but how effective is that? If trust is given with no prior experience it is like giving a bum a dollar on the street corner. You have no idea what the bum is going to do with that money. They may go buy alcohol instaead of food or shelter or hygiene products, or they might not even be a bum these days. You can choose to see the good in everyone or you can be tentative. Now, when trust is broken even by the slightest misconduct is it repairable? When feelings get hurt they are mendable most of the time, but time is a huge factor. When the person who commits the untruth admits to it...does it make make it better? Does the time in which the deviator admits to his guilt of straying from the truth matter? I will add more later.

That Guy

Ok, dick...I call you and leave you messages and get no reply. I send you e-mails and get either no reply or a crap reply about what was in my e-mail. You have a phone, you can call me. I came home for Thanksgiving...drove 1,000 miles...and you were in Dallas and we didn't see each other. I was so upset. Why did I have to be the one to make the sacrifice. You had your car there. I was really looking forward to hanging out. You could have met Joanne. You could have hung out with all my friends from home. You would have loved them. They are way better than those POS's in Tyler. You could have come to my family's Thanksgiving dinner. Who's your boy, man? I am. Who shoots you straight? Who is there for you at 2am when you twist your ankle and you need somebody to listen to you ramble on in a drunken stuper. Who listens to you vent about your problems. I know you do the same for me and I love it because you don't feel sorry for me. You tell me the truth. You tell me how you feel with no bias. A true friend. So, hit me back and let me know what you are doing for Xmas break. I will be home from the 24th-2nd. Am I going to have to drive to Lubbock again and get another flat 60 miles outside of Abilene? Am I not going to be able to get the damn tire off again having 18 wheelers drive by shaking the whole car? I am sure Lisa Lisa will appreciate my company. Everyone who reads this web page should buy Lisa Lisa products by the way. State of the art lotions and soaps. High quality stuff here. Anyway TG...hit me up. Late-One

Apology

After reading this, you will know who this is to. I am sorry. I am sorry for the way I treated you for the longest time. I know people in the same situation as us do the same thing, but I might have taken it to an extreme. I am sorry that it took so long for me to mature and want to be close to you. I am sorry for hitting on your friends...kinda. I am glad that we have the relationship we do now, but I know we can still be closer. I am sorry for the way I used to treat you when we would play basketball in the back yard. Or for making fun of you when you crashed the go-cart into the side of the house. That was funny though, but I am glad you weren't hurt. I am sorry for hitting you in the head with the swing-set. I think that was me. I know I was there. I probably laughed then too. Maybe not. I am sorry for giving your boyfriend a hard time, but I think I warmed up to him after a while. I mean I bought the kid guitar strings for a broken guitar. I am sorry I haven't called you lately. I get in a shell sometimes and it is hard to get out of it. I will be back in Dallas soon and I hope we can talk and spend some time together then. Maybe we can go out together and drink or something. Last time we drank together you were hugging the toilet most of the night while I was holding your hair. I know I laughed then. But it was cool. I hope you figure things out. I hope you get the financial help you deserve. I will always be here for you. In one way or another.

Made Her Happy and Where in the HELL is THAT GUY?

First things first, TG...call somebody sometime ass. I called you 2 nights ago and you didn't answer. I didn't leave a message.

On to business. I got Joanne (the A isn't capitalized) some flowers delivered to her house. I wanted to kind of make a gesture to her kind of implying my interest in her and also wishing her luck on her upcoming final exams. She loved them. Thank goodness. I am flying her here to FL on the 21st so I can see her and we can spend time together. Also so i will have some company on my drive home. I should be home on the 23rd or 24th. I will be in town(Dallas) until about the 2nd. She is such a sweetheart. We talk everyday on the phone and through e-mail and I am very excited about where this is going. She is such an honest person and we have really good conversations. She is easy to talk to and a ton of fun. She has a great personality and attitude. I can't wait to see her and it is going to be hard to leave home again. I know that things are supposed to be this way, but it sure would be nice to be back at home in my old job enjoying her in person much more often. I never thought I would say that. I hated my old job...but I guess I liked it because I was good at it. I was real good at it. When she comes into town she will need to sleep because her flight doesn't leave until 5:30am TX time. I think she is going to try to pull an all nighter. She will get here at about 10:30 and then I will take her to her hotel. I am off on the 21st so I will be able to spend the day with her. I am going to try to take her to The Landing and then to the beach. We will have a blast. I have to work the 22nd, but hopefully they will let me off early. I am not sure if we are going to stay another night here in FL before we make the drive to TX. It is up to her. Hopefully the weather is nice. I heard it is supposed to get cold this weekend. Maybe it will warm up and allow us to do more when she is here. I want her to have a good time here so she might want to come back. I gotta go, but I will see you all soon. One-

Yes, Sis, I am coming home for Xmas

What have I done and what did I do
What on earth did I get myself into?
Why do I do things in the fashionI do
What on earth did I get myself into?
So now I am stuck in a rut that grows permanently deeper
I am climbing a wall that continously gets steeper
I am awaiting the day I finally face the reaper.
Until one moment that changed it all
Suddenly a net appeared to brace my fall
I'm not saying it is a solution to it all
But the last time I was this happy I just can't recall
A few drinks and some food and a smile on my face
All due to this situation I would never replace
And all the affection I warmly embrace
But stop for a moment and see the big picture
Weird how one event can change your future
Or can it though, lets not get ahead too far
Remember the part about the North Star
I guess I should just follow those words, thats fair
And not worry who's here and who's there

Movie Quotes

From Boondock Saints:
And shepherds we shall be, for thee my Lord for thee, Power hath descended forth from thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out thy command, we shall flow a river forth to thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be. In nomine patris, et filii... [they cock their guns] ...et spiritus sancti

Shut your fat ass, Rayvie! I can't even go to the store to get a pack of smokes without runnin' into nine guys you've fucked.

Now you will receive us. We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry. We do not want your tired and sick It is your corrupt we claim. It is your evil that will be sought by us. With every breath, we shall hunt them down. Each day we will spill their blood, 'til it rains down from the skies. Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace. These are not polite suggestions, these are codes of behavior, and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost. There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth, not to push the bounds and cross over, in to true corruption, into our domain. For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three, and on that day you will reap it. And we will send you to whatever god you wish.

Napolean Dynamite:
It's got shocks... pegs... lucky!

Kip: I'm just really trying to raise a few bucks now so I can bring her out for a few days. Uncle Rico: Yeah, well what does she look like? Kip: She's uh... she's got sandy blonde hair. She's uh... pretty good looking face, but I'm just getting really... just kinda TO'd because... I mean she hasn't even sent me a full body shot yet.

How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?... Yeah... Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.

Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!... Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!

Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills...

Uncle Rico: So how are things going with you and your girlfriend? Kip: Well, I think it's getting pretty serious. We chat online for like two hours a day so yeah, you could say it's getting pretty serious.

I see you're drinking 1% milk. Is that because you think you're fat? Because you're not. You could probably be drinking whole milk.

Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again? Napolean: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines! Don: Did you shoot any? Napolean: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that? Don: What kind of gun did you use? Napolean: A freakin' 12-gauge, what do you think?

The Napolean quotes are hilarious and the Boondock quotes are just awesome. Hope you enjoy.

Favorite Movies

1. Napolean Dynamite
2. Boondock Saints
3. Big Lebowski
4. Tombstone
5. All Adam Sandler Movies
6. All Chris Farley Movies
7. Night at the Roxbury
8. Man on Fire
9. Fight Club
10. Pulp Fiction
11. Seven

I am sure there are many many more, but this is a brief synopsis.

Loving Life

I have been in a great mood for the last few days. I have a good idea why too. I now have a title. "We". I just got through helping out with 3 retirement parties/ceremonies and my supply officer let me drink off the keg for a bit before I took off. It was Bud Light but I rocked it anyway. Bet. So, now I am back at the office. I had to bring some of the supplies back here and do my entry for the day. I am kinda buzzed. The new Usher Luda Lil John song is on and I am feeling it. Ha! So, back to the point. I cannot wait to go back home. I can't wait to see my fam again...I love them so much...but, I also can't wait to see JoAnne. Ahhh! I got to talk to her for a brief minute this afternoon. I love hearing her voice. It is so refreshing and she sounds so excited when she answers the phone. It is nice. I have no clue what I am going to do the rest of the day. Probably take a nap and maybe go try to find some fun tonight. I dont have to come in until 10 tomorrow because I am going to be here until 6 or later tomorrow night doing another retirement ceremony. I went to a bar called Cheers last night. Everybody didn't know my name. I didn't see Norm either. I have got to get out. I gotta meet some people. I am still young and I feel like I am 40. But with no wife or family. It is weird how things happen. I have been here for six weeks and met no one. I go home for four days and I meet an amazing girl. I am by no means complaing, I just think it is funny how things work out. I wonder what I would be doing right now if I had never joined the military. I miss Nicole and her infinite wisdom, I miss LeAnne and Lauren, I miss Tim and Marc, I miss Nana and her ability to listen to whatever I have to say and ignore all the cuss words. Meagan and her smart-ass attitude, but loving input. That Guy and our ability to be the same person in two completely different mind sets.

I haven't talked to Shiana in a while. I am concerned about that. I haven't seen Tina and the fam in a while either. I may just give them a call tonight and hang with them. They are good people. Catch ya on the flip side.

Bad News

After a good night of OC, North Shore, and a strong glass of Crown and Coke I had another wonderful conversation with the beautiful JoAnne. She is delightful. Very much like myself. Not meaning that I am delightful, I mean that we have a lot in common. But, ya, for the record I am delightful as well. We are still "talking" even though there are 3 states inbetween us not including TX and FL. 1,000 miles apart. Thats a lot of miles. We had exchanged e-mails and we spoke of (in a joking manner) how it is probably a good thing that we are so far apart to keep us from ruining the experience by demanding too much of one another's time. Last night I said something along the lines of "it is allowing us to start a good foundation to build on". That is not what I said, but it is the general idea of it. I can't remember what I really said but she liked it. It put it plainly and the good thing is that we are both going into this with good attitudes. It is exciting in it's own right. So, I got here this morning and had an e-mail from her and I of course got excited until I started reading. I knew that she was going out with her sorrority sisters last night and was planning to drink. Ok, normal college life. The e-mail stated that there was something she wanted to talk about that was bothering her. It kinda gave me the assumption that she had met someone else or maybe re-kindled an old flame. My heart sunk deep into my stomach and I was preparing myself for the news to come. I was saddened by this, but I kept an open mind. I knew there was a possibility that it could all be my imagination because my past haunts me like that. I jump to conclusions in situations such as this. Kind of like the game in Office Space. Anyway, I waited a while to call her because that is what she asked me to do...let the booze run its path a little. She was still sleeping when I called, but she relieved me from my fears by giving me a brief synopsis of what she had to say. She knew some people who ended up knowing me from Marcus High School. They evidentally told her the story about my gym locker being terrorized by some people who I wish bad things would happen to. One of them already met his maker. Only about 4 more to go. I know, that's horrible isn't it. But, the incident was that bad of an experience for me. It was kind of embarassing, but to know that I didn't have to have the same kind of gut wrenching feeling that I had was greatness. I have to work this weekend and then on Monday I have to paint the Duty Office as my punishment for calling in late on Friday morning. I also ran into a guy that I knew from bootcamp, he wasn't in my division, but he was pretty cool. He was also in Mississippi for a minute while I was there. I got his number and we plan to hang out soon. He is here on TAD (Temporary Assigned Duty) so he won't be here for much longer, but it will be nice to go out with someone who is closer to my personality type. It will get me by for now. I can't explain how it made me feel when I saw him...hetero feelings just in case you were wondering. It was like...cool I could actually have a friend here now. Only to be crushed when he said hew wasn't going to be here long. But, I gotta take what life gives me and make the best of it. I am leaving work now. I gotsta go to the store and get some tooth paste and such. I need to buy me a TV too. Maybe I'll do that soon. I guess I will have to look on-line for a good deal. I also need to get my transcripts so I can go back to school while I am here. I have to do that. Late- Yoshwa

Things That Evolve

Evolution: a process of change in a certain direction, as defined by our friends at Merriam Webster. It is an interesting word and to think about its unlimited capabilities makes me dizzy. We all evolve in one way or another and I wonder if it is wrong to think that it is out of our control how we will evolve. I know we all have the capability to make decisions and do as we please and there may and may not be repercussions for these actions. What I really want to know is not why, but how. How is it possible for billions of people to inhabit the same place with very little violence given the vast population of this world. But on the other hand, How are so many people lonely and unhappy. This might be taking it in the wrong direction, but...Technology has it's ups and downs. Back in the day of the caveman he lived off of the land. Even in the day of the Indians they did what was necessary to get by. Some made it, some didnt. But they had to protect what was theirs and take care of their fellow man...given that he was a friend. Now, why on earth do people not make friends with everyone they meet? Is it because of moral differences, predetermined bias, language barriers, physical appearance? We have evolved into a culture of asses. A stereotypical era of kings and queens and servants. Who is more powerful and who is too good to be seen with him or her. Ego: the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that serves as the organized conscious mediator between the person and reality especially by functioning both in the perception of and adaptation to reality. Self esteem even. Why were knights noble. How was their blood "pure"?? Who made the Kings kings? Was it like, "Hey, I am on this land so it must be mine and since I am the best leader out of these people "the coolest" I am going to nominate myself to be ruler of this land"? I dont know because I don't know my history. Intelligence: the ability to learn or understand or to deal with new or trying situations : Reason; also : the skilled use of reason (2) : the ability to apply knowledge to manipulate one's environment or to think abstractly as measured by objective criteria (as tests) . Thank you again m-w.com. Maybe the smartest people just took charge. Does that make sense? Well, kinda. But, to me, intelligence is more reasoning than it is book smarts. Common sense per say. I don't remember where I was going with this, but I was wondering why I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself for having no friends on this side of the country. It is my own darn fault. I choose to be this way. I wake up every morning and evolve into the person that I am. Now, for the definition of evolution...it says in a certain direction. It does not say in a definate direction. The North Star is used as a tool to find ones way. Now call me silly, but I see a strong biblical reference to that. People get off of the beaten path and need help finding their way again. I am off of the beaten path and without a North Star I am evolving in the wrong "certain direction". I need to have faith that i am here for a reason and I got a strong sign of that today when I was speaking with Chief Galen earlier today. We were outside where everyone goes to use their cancer sticks and my worm dirt. I had confided in him my doubts about this place a few days ago and he listened and put in his 2 cents. Today he told me that everything happens for a reason and I have heard it a million times, but today he put it into perspective in my life. He said that being here weas a gift to me. I won't elaborate on that, but for many good reasons to tie my life together and to get it back on the right track. ...That Guy...remember my reference to cynosure. I find it odd that I am writing this now remembering what I wrote to you. I love you all. Oh ya, and sis...do what you can when you can. I love you.

Hmmm...

I started writing something, but it was gay so I deleted it. I am leaving work early today so I can go get my hair cut. I wanted to write a poem, but I lost the mood. I had some really good material earlier. I was depressed. I called my mom today when I was going to pick up lunch and I vented. I hate this place. I am not the only one either. Some of the people I work with do not like it as well. I think I said the "F" word about 20 times in my brief convo w/ mi madre. She is a good listener. I love her to death. I was really sad and wanted to cry, but that would have done me no good. I tried to cheer up and see the brighter side of things. I hold the key to my happiness. I am the one who determines where I go and I am the one who knows all I know and I am the one who reaps what I sew. I do what I can to be a good man and when all else fails I just try to be a man. That was gay too, but oh well. I wish I had a PC at home so I could write more often. I gotta go. Well, I dont gotta, but I can so I am. Make sense? Have a wonderful day. Love you mommy.