I love my wife

Isn't she beautiful! When I see this picture I can' help but think about how happy this woman makes me. It is a very trying time right now being so far away from her, but I know in my heart we will manage and we will come out of this so strong. Coming here was not a tough decision at first. It was a no-brainer, but now that I think about it I almost second guess myself. I know it isn't good to do that, but it is so hard knowing that I could be at home lying in her arms feeling her body against mine. That is the best feeling I know. I feel whole when I am with her. It is funny because when I was with Tami and I quit baseball I felt this exact same way, but roles reversed. Here I have left my love to go to baseball and it just doesn't seem worth it. That is a huge reason why I know so well that this woman is it for me. Growing up all I knew was baseball. That is all I ever wanted to do or have. I gave that up basically for a woman and love and a "normal" life. Here I didn't give anything up, morelike halfway paused for lack of a better term my "normal" life for baseball.

I don't think I did anything wrong, but it doesn't feel completely right. I can't express the love I have for Mendi. I just can't. It is inexplicable. She gives me life. She fills the voids I had in my life. Everything I was lacking she stepped in and made me whole. Being here away from here makes me feel like a bad husband. I have gone over it a million times in my head thinking about if I had stayed instead of going. If I stayed I was going to be sent out on a ship for 6 weeks in June. I would hardly be able to speak to her or get in contact with her. At least this way we can talk everyday. She can fly out here to visit and if need be I can fly back home to see her. On a ship you can't exactly do that. Of course that is only six weeks compared to 5 months, but that seems like it would have been a lot harder on us.

Dont get me wrong, I am having an ok time out here. I mean, I am getting paid to play baseball. I just can't wait to get out of the Navy and be able to KNOW that I get to see my wife everyday when I go home from work. I just hope she knows how bad it hurts me to know that I put her through the same kind of sress and discomfort that I am feeling. The only thing I canhope is that the thought of my love keeps her warm at night. I love her so much.