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For all of you who don't know, this is a picture/video that was taken by "That Guy" aka Aaron Presley in Tyler, TX last time I was home in May. We were playing a drinking game and I got dared to say the Pledge of Allegiance with my butt cheeks. Kinda like Jim Carrey in Ace Ventura. The video is flippin hilarious. Also, these are not tighty whities I have on, they are CK boxer briefs. I do not wear restrictive undies. This would be very clear for those of you who know me well. My guys swim all too well.

On another note-
I went to the doctor this morning because I thought I was getting, or have, a hemorroid. Do not read past this point if you don't want details. I got violated by a 60 year old man. Yup, the old finger up the butt trick. I didn't know whether I was going to piss myself or shit myself and at one point I thought I was going to do both at the same time. Groosss. The good news is I don't have a hemorroid. Good times. He just prescribed me some stool softeners.