I am thankful for

Since I am still drunk right now from my night out at The Globe I will start out with telling you how thankful I am that the baddest bitch in the club grabbed my hand and wanted to dance with me. So, of course I shook my ass with her. We co-ass shaked. She was German. Her name sounded kinda like Salmonella or some kinda disease like that. Anyway, B-A-D. She and her friend who was also a 10 danced with me for about 2 or 3 songs and then we parted ways. For that 10 minutes or so all eyes were on the three of us. The two of them were the type of girls that you don't even think about trying to dance with because they are just too hot. You know that they are too good for you. Or at least they think that. So that was the highlight of my night. She was rubbing on my chest and ...wow. Fun stuff. Oh ya, I went out with hot ass twins last night too. Ashlee and Autumn Grabo. I was supposed to have dinner with Ashlee on Wednesday night, but I stood her up. So her and her fine ass sister were bitches to me last night.

I am thankful that...

I have my health
my family/friends are healthy
I have the best friends
my sister wants to be close friends
I have the ability to help people financially or in any other way
I have a 14" penis
my hangover isn't any worse
I get to go home in 7 days
Roy David Harwell is getting more play than me..he needs it
UT Tyler baseball eats my ass (Jimmy V in particular)
I am only in the Navy for 4 more years
After the Navy I can be normal again
I am happy with mediocracy
Money does not rule my life
I have had the pleasure of bedding over 100 ladies
The well isn't dry
The glass isn't half full or empty - there are free refills

Eat shit bitches...better see me

shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart terd and twat

That is a song by Blink 182.

Ok, here is the deal. I weighed in at 199 the last 3 days. I have been steady at about 203. The maximum weight for my height is 196. If I weigh more than 196 on May 6th I have to get measured to get my body fat percentage. If my body fat percentage is over I think 24 or 26% I will be punished. Of course I do not have that much body fat. I am probably around 15-18%. I am taking Thermoburst as my only supplement to my workout right now. It makes my body temperature rise so that I basically have a fever during my workout which causes you to sweat more and it makes my meatbolism rise. Basically it helps burn fat. I have been pulling 2-a-days working out. Not every day, just Wednesdays and Fridays. I run 2 miles in the morning along with doing 20-30 minutes of calisthenics. In the evening I do the elliptical machine for at least 30 minutes if not longer and then lift for at least 45 more minutes. Normally my time in the gym is about 2 hours.

I would like to find a supplement that will help me add bulk to my muscles because right now I am concentrating on slimming and toning up. I have a good base and I would like to take that and expand on it. Please comment if you have the name of a good LEGAL supplement I can take that will add bulk muscle.

May 7th-17th

I have tentative plans to return to Dallas during this time period. We shall see.

My sister is turning 21 on May 15th. Happy early B-Day Sis!

I spoke with TG today. We had a nice chat. I am planning on going out to Tyler for a few days when I go to Texas. That will be nice. I haven't seen Aaron since my first trip home after boot camp and "A" school. I thought I was going to have a panic attack this morning and I don't know why. It came on pretty quick, but went away. The last time I had a panic attack was in Mississippi when it was getting close to time for me to go home. I couldn't sleep at night. It was miserable. I would lay in bed at 11 or so and stay awake until about 3 and then go to the couch. I would try to watch TV until I fell asleep. Most nights I got about 30 minutes to an hour of sleep. It was tough. I don't think I told anyone about it. I was fine once I got to Dallas. Boot camp was an experience. We didn't sleep the first two days. I wanted to die. I need my sleep. I was so close to climbing the fence in the middle of the night and running away. Mexico isn't that bad. Or Canada, I guess that is much closer to Chicago than Mexico.

All of you who are not in the military need to enjoy what you have. I still enjoy myself because I know that it could always be worse. But those of you who take everything you do on a daily basis for grant-it should appreciate the things that I and a million other people are doing. I lose 30% of my freedom to help provide you with 100% freedom. I cannot call in sick to work. I can't talk back to my asshole boss. Well, I can, but there would be drastic reprocussions. I can't quit if I don't like what I am doing. I take home a $565 pay check on the 1st and 15th. Try living on that.

Mira de puerta

I see the door and it is within my grasp, but as I reach for it it gets further away. I stop. Keeping on is imminent but halting further progression seems to be the norm. I retreat.

My "love" life What a joke

I would say that I am somewhat dating a girl that works at Hooters by the beach. She goes to UNF and is 23 or 24, I can't remember. Her name is Bailey. We hang out occasionally and talk briefly on the phone every few days. She is absolutely gorgeous. She is a lot like myself. She is a Navy reservist, but our personality traits are very similar. I am getting frustrated with her. I would like to spend more time with her, but like me, she is set in her ways and routines. It makes it hard to get to know someone. You should see her body. It's Niiiice. Nice.

Next up is Miranda, another Hooters girl. This is a bit different though. She has a boyfriend. They were having problems a few weeks ago and split up. I gave her my number one night at Hooters and said if you are ever single, give me a call. Well, as soon as they broke up my phone rang and she invited me over for drinks. We went to a club and danced and then back to her place. No action to speak of. That was that. She ended up getting back with him because the girl that said she cheated with him renegged and said she was lying. We still talk and I saw her last night. She is super hot too. She is 19. She acts older than that, though...and looks it. She is about 5'10".

Then there is this nurse girl named Jennifer. I have never had anything more than casual conversation with her, but she recently opened the gates. She tans up at USA Tan, the place Kathi owns. I talk to her when she comes in there and one day she made a comment about how nice my eyes were. I flirted back and it was nice. So, I go up to help Kathi out last night and Jennifer had been in earlier that day. She left a note for me that basically said she missed seeing me and wished I was there so she could look into my eyes. I left a note for Kathi to pass on to her saying "wanna Fuck?" Just kidding. Mine said blah blah blah wish I was there too. Then I said maybe we could see each other outside the salon sometime. I'll let you know what happens.

TG- F- the pope. He's a jew hater. He wears that shirt from T-shirt Hell that says "What about all the good things Hitler did" under his robe. I know it. Not that ther is anything wrong with that.

Also- Check out this- www.myspace.com/travisakers

that is one of the guys from VP-30's site. He has his own CD out. I have heard him sing live and it sounds much better than the downloads on this site. He was the one who invited me to Daytona. He sang and played his guitar on the beach. Chicks dig that shit. Download his songs on there and share them if you want.

Funeral Today

My CO's (commanding officer) daughter died in a car accident a few days ago. She was headed here from New Orleans with 3 friends. The driver fell asleep at the wheel and the car crashed. The driver was uninjured. They were only 2 hours away. It is only an 8 hour drive from NO to Jax.

His daughter was the topic of his conversation almost every day. He was so proud of her. She was 18 and a senior in high school. She was on the golf team and had a scholarship to come here to Florida to play. Evidentally she was really good. I chose to not attend the service because I do not know the girl that died and I hardly know the CO, other than he is my boss. I don't believe it is my place to be there. Family and friends are who I want at my funeral, not friends of friends and co-workers of friends. That's just me, though.

Contradictary - Contrary

I have a problem. I want someone to be close to, yet I don't allow myself to become so with another. I have always thought that you can be picky when you are choosing your friends. But can you? Some of the people I pre-judged as jerks or assholes have become my best friends. I have realized that I have not yet found my true self. Who I am and who I want to become.

My mother is going through a tough time right now. Her and my father are seperating for good now and she is sad and upset and a million other feelings. She doesn't like being lonely or alone period. I can relate to this. My mother has friends, but much like myself her friends have gone their own ways and are far away. Or need to be in the looney bin. I guess when you get married and have children it becomes quite difficult for people to have the social lives they should have. Too many responsibilities and random things to do. Back to my point. I sympathize with my mother in the fact that I am dealing with the same thing she is about to deal with. I made a decision to join the military. On my own with no coercion. I knew that I would be taken away from all things "normal" and sane. I venture into an unknown. Bootcamp in my mind could be compared to prison. You have no rights and no priviliges. You have to ask permission to piss and shit. You have to "respectfully request" permission. GAY! I remember the first time I got to make a phone call in boot camp. I had no calling card and it was the middle of the day. If I made a collect call it would be plain luck to catch someone at home. Then I realized that you could make credit card calls and I remembered my card #. For what turned out to be an $18 call I phoned my mom at work. I can't begin to describe the emotion racing through my brainwashed skull. It had been about 3 weeks of imprisonment and I had maybe received one letter. I was starving for some sense of home or love. The phone rings, the panic sets in, my heart races. My mom answers the phone, "Linda speaking" and I say hi momma and break down. Tears come racing down my cheeks like gravity has doubled. I can't speak. My masculinity is at a minimum. I want to start bawling, but I am in the same room as 30 other men. The sound of my mother's voice was so powerful. I was in her arms at that moment. With every word she said my heart grew stronger. I knew it was going to be ok. She was my light at the end of the tunnel. After weeks of torture something as simple as a phone call brightened my spirits and made me realize what I was doing. There were many times where I wanted to jump the fence and run away, but the only thing that kept me there was knowing that I would disappoint my mother if I did that. I could not live with that.

Now I am here in Florida. All alone still, but much better circumstances. It still sucks, don't get me wrong, but it is better. I have no family and very few friends. No one here close enough to feel completely comfortable with telling my darkest secrets. So all in all, what I am trying to say is that everything will be ok. Life goes on and you learn to deal with things in the best way you can find. There is no "right" way to handle it, you just have to find out what makes you happy. I found that in my mother. I feel closer to my mother and sister than I have ever been in my life and I am further away from them than I have ever been. Strange how things work.

Blogging is to Journaling as Pocket Pussy is to...

You decide for yourself.

I read a lot of people's blogs that I don't know. Some are very boring and others are quite interesting. Peope tend to write about nothing. They also write a lot of sadness and negativity. I wish I had the capability to add pictures to my blog myself. I have no personal PC so it makes it quite difficult. The way our network is set up here I cannot download my software from my camera onto my computer. It is beautiful here in a lot of places. I was at the beach last weekend and the waves were actually big. Maybe 6-7 feet high. It was so pretty...probably because I am not used to seeing it. I want to put a picture of Kathi and Patrice, it is Patrice's birthday on Tuesday I think. Big 4-0. Her boyfriend took her to the mall and bought her $500 worth of clothes. He looks like a fag, though. I think he is...he was checking me out. If he isn't gay, he is the most gay looking straight guy I have ever seen. I mean he had the gestures, body language and physical appearance down. He even had 90210 side-burns...lol.

So anyway
I read Aaron's blog every day I am at work. It is normally the first thing I do in the morning. They are pretty much always interesting. He make me miss him and Tyler...all our people there. He is a living legend. At least he was when I was there. I would like to see how it is now. If the name stuck and people hear about this person named "That Guy". Crazyness. Aaron is probably one of the most fun bitchy people you would ever meet. He is quite intelligent, can handle his alcohol and has self restraint. A good combination. Plus he used to get these bad ass hair cuts. Man his hair was stylish. I used to go over to his apartment after class and wake him up. I would jump on the bed and be as loud and annoying as possible...imagine that. He would lay there in bed while I looked at porn and checked my e-mail on his computer. Eventually he would get up and shower and we would go eat or something. He was always there for me. He would listen when shit went down and he would help me think rationally. Like we always tell each other...we are the ones who will shoot each other straight. We don't sugar coat everything to make each other feel better. If I am feeling like shit and want his support on something he doesn't agree with he will tell me to stop being a bitch and put me in check. Same for me. Like when he started dating LinZd, I didn't mind being a 3rd wheel with them and LinZ treated me well. Fair enough. I was his only friend who instead of bitching about him spending too much time with LinZ acted positively and went to do things with them. If you can't beat them, join 'em. I think the thing that bothers me is that I have so many good memories of fun or cool stuff that I have done that it seems like my life is just normal now...boring. In high school we did so much fun stuff and in JuCo, oh man we lit that place up, in Tyler we had keg party after keg party and skipped study hall and played video games. I remember Stan doing the flying squirrel onto a matress in the living room in the middle of a party and when he was rapping with JA and JB and he said the "N" word. That was funny. I have no one here to do that with. My most fun time in Florida would have to be......going to Daytona Beach with some people I hardly knew. It took me a while to think of that. I just need my friends and Fam. Deuces.

I need a good friend and a keg of beer and a bottle of Jack and some Red Bull

I have a cold. It sucks. I feel like shit.

So much shit has happened in the past few days and it is driving me crazy. I need to go home to Texas for a bit to take care of a few things. I need to make sure Joanne isn't hiding anything from me and I need to be there for my family.

I haven't talked to TG in a while and I haven't talked to Tim or Marc either. I tried to call Tim last night and it kept acting as if he changed his number. I miss having someone to put you in check. A good friend who watches your back and makes sure you don't do anything stupid without their approval. Someone to take you out and get you drunk when you have had a rough time. I had the BEST friends. I talked to Roy D. Harwell and he just broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years (who was a VIRGIN!). He seems to be ok with it. Him and I will be best friends until the day we die no matter how far away we live from one another. Same with TG and Marc and Tim obviously.

Being independant can only get you to a certain point of happiness. I have people here who care about me, but I feel like I only have one good friend. That is Kathi. I am going to start working every other Sunday for her so she can take some time off.

You do what you can, but why?

I am starving for attention. I spend at least 10 hours a week in the gym trying to "better" myself...like it is possible. I'm already damn near perfect. Right. So, anyway, for those of you who don't know...Joanne and I are no longer speaking. It has been that way for a while. I have been hanging out and working up at the tanning place. Kathi treats me like I am family and she is such a sweetheart. So, I have had a rough week and I am up there last night for the first time in almost a week and I walk in to see a super hot extremely tan girl behind the counter who isn't Kathi. She was there helping out. I introduced myself and we started chatting. We both admitted that we were single. She had an amazing body and a style that was unique. Nothing crazy, just unique. She seemed sweet and fun to be around and I thought we clicked a little. I asked if she wanted to hang out sometime and she obliged so we exchanged numbers before she left. I was kinda fired up until Kathi told me that she wasn't exactly a faithful person. I have had my fair share of run-ins with unfaithful people. F-that. But she did tell me that this girl tried to get her daughter's boyfriend's phone number while they were together and that she would appreciate it if I dicked her over. So I am going to do my best.

Sista goin to NYC

Have fun sis. Getcha some.

I am going to my supervisor's house in the morning to help him lay some saud. Is that how you spell it? Grass...the legal kind. I went out last night with Ron, I think that is his name. He is an older guy, maybe 40 or so. We went to a place called 57's . It is an old folks home basically with music and drinks. He wants me to go out with him tonight to a dress up club to pick up chicks. Ya, ok. I am broke. Plus, I have to be up early to lay grass.

I have a picture of Kooter on my desk. I loved that dog. She was my baby gurl. So pretty and smart. The perfect woman, but a dog. I remember one night I was asleep and she woke me up scratching on my pillow because she needed to go outside. It was about 4am. She had rhea...the dia kind. What a good girl.

I've got sloppy pussy

From the howard stern Private Parts movie. Blank willow. Blank-a-doodle-doo. Time to go home.

Solutions to problems

How come it seems easy to fix other people's problems, but when it comes to your own they are entirely too complex to fathom an answer. My sister and I look at my brother's relationship with his girlfriend Sam who is a complete bitch. We see that she is a fat, lazy, nagging, self centered bitch. He doesn't necessarily see that. My brother has a heart of gold and a wonderful personality. He is one of the most intelligent people I know and very witty. He has a good job and supports himself. He should have no problem meeting a nice woman who can treat him the way he deserves. We, Meagan and I, think that JJ needs to ditch this bitch. JJ, on the other hand, has the same idea, but might be afraid to act on it. As far as I know he has not had a relationship that has lasted quite this long. It is hard to break up with someone who you love. Sometimes it just has to be done. Like Meagan who had to get rid of Jon. Jon was a nice guy, but he was a doosh who was never going to amount to anything. You have to look out for your best interest. Sam is definately a nagger. She complains when JJ wants to go out with his friends...you just can't do that. He needs to do the "right thing" and dump her. I dislike her very much and have from the beginning. She is a lazy slob. She has only gotten fatter since the day I met her. She blames it on her back problems. I am sore every day from going to the gym, but I still do it because it needs to be done. My new work-out partner has lost 9 pounds in the last month from doing my workout. I am proud of her. All it takes is a little time and effort. JJ- get rid of her...you deserve better.