Ruined a Life, That's My life story

Can I feel down on myself and have a pity party please. Ok, thanks for your permission. I have a pimple on my lower back that is giving me excruciating pain when it is touched or rubbed against. I have some kind of mental problem that will not allow me to have a properly functioning relationship. I have an overactive libido that is only fulfilled properly maybe once a month or every few months. I have a crappy job that was brought on by a crappy decision. I have no baseball career due to many crappy decisions. I have no friends within 1,000 miles due to a crappy decision. I have an unhappy girlfriend who I love with all my heart and I just can't keep her happy. I want to. I really do. I have a family who needs me and misses me dearly. I can't see them for a long while. I have a bad temper. I control it by keeping it in and self destructing. Sometimes I feel as if I can't even deficate properly...most of the time I don't. I am my own disfunctional family. I think I have a tendency to feel subservient. I am a douche bag. I just looked up douche bag on Merriam Webster's web site and it says this: slang : an unattractive or offensive person I am sorry to all who have to put up with me.