Euphoric

When things go good they go good and when things go bad they go very bad. But now it seems I need to turn over a new leaf. All of my friends know that I posess the power to be a dick. So do I. I have been told before that I am as moody as a female, if not worse. I agree. My mood can swing at any time. Why?? That is a good question. Could there be a "real" medical explanation for it? Maybe. Or could it just be that I am a moody little bitch. As you all know I did go to a therapist for a while after that Bitch Tami fucked me up. It helped. There is something strangely comfortable about telling your feelings to a complete stranger. They do still judge, but not as harshly. Not as directly. I would like to still be able to go to my therapist every once in a while, but not one in the Navy. If you go to a therapist in the Navy, you are a risk. No matter what the problem is they judge you automatically. Now, that is bull shit. I used to think that going to a shrink was a bunch of crap until I experienced it first hand. I did not feel weak by going there, I felt empowered. Input by an unbiased source was an enlightenment. I feel like I could use that help again at the current moment. I need to know how to overcome my anger issues. They have caused me problems all of my life and they have always caused relationship problems. I am in a relationship now that I feel like could and should be the last one I am ever in. As long as I can be the nice side of myself. I don't know if it is better to know you have a problem and not know how to fix it, or to have a problem and not recognize it. Pushing someone away due to lack of self restraint is a horrible feeling. Hurting someone's feelings and not caring at the time is a horrible feeling.

I am deeply sorry to all of you who I hurt.

Now get over it.

Just kidding.