Vayos con Dios

I think about her all the time now. Now that she's gone. She races through my mind at the most random times and I can still smell her sweet perfume. But she's not here and won't be any time soon. Maybe not gone forever, but it sure seems that way now. If I could do something to change that I would do it anyway or anyhow. It's a crazy world and we have to learn to deal, but how come I always set myself up with these feelings that I feel. I wish I didn't have them. It would be much easier that way. But I miss having someone lying next to me at the end of the day. Isn't it nice to just have someone there. Someone to talk to. Someone who cares. Someone to share things with and brightens up your day. Someone who can reciprocate and will always feel the same way. But then reality sets in. It slaps you in the face. Nothing is forever. Not even the dreams that I chase.

I'm not lonely or unhappy. Quite the contrary. I am just wondering if I need to get used to my solitude. I'm not necessarily in seclusion because I do get out and have fun. It is just the things that I enjoy have changed. My place has changed along with my age. My true friends are far off and my family the same. I just wish that I could take a break and everything would be the way it used to be. Not a chance in hell for that to happen, but it sure would be nice. Good things have come from many of my life decisions. Along with the bad, but I would have to say that other than being away from the people who care about me most i am a happy person. For the most part. The rest will come with time and pushy people are not that often happy. So I will let things flow. I will see how it goes. I just have this mental downfall that I believe things have to be a certain way and if they aren't then I am lacking. Back to self development 101. I'll let you know how it goes. Until then, Vayos con Dios.