Coming Home

I am going back to Jacksonville to be with my family.

Sometimes life throws things at you. Some you catch and some you let go by. It is the ones that you catch and then throw away that are trivial.

I got married to a beautiful, intelligent, caring woman who loves me with all her heart. I couldn't have asked for anything more...but I did. I asked this woman to wait for me. To marry me and then wait 5 months to be with me. What was I thinking. Who leaves their wife just a few days after they get married? Sure it wasn't the most conventional wedding (lol) but it worked for us. My family loved her and her daughter Kenzie. I couldn't have asked for anything more, but I did. It took me 17 days to realize that I made a mistake.

I love baseball and I love my wife, but in different ways. I love baseball because it is something I am good at. It was something that was supposed to be my career and get me my college education paid for. Well, none of that panned out. It is a one-sided love. Baseball doesn't love you back. Baseball shits on you. It can be fun, but my personality and baseball's personality don't coincide. With my wife it is a 2 way street. I love her and she loves me back the exact same way. I can see it in her eyes and in her touch. It is the most amazing feeling a person can feel. KNOWING, really knowing that someone loves you so much it hurts. You can't replace that with a game. I wouldn't trade what I have with my wife for anything and I can't stand being away from her when I don't have to be.

So Flippin excited

Marriage, kids, house, family. It is all so exciting. Tomorrow is the big day. Mendi's surprise should be there. I hope she likes it. Hopefully the clothes have arrived that my mom sent. My mom took us to Babies R Us and bought Kenzie a ton of clothes and there wasn't enough room to take them on the plane. I can't wait to start a family and actually being a family. There are so many things I am missing out on by being here. Things that are "firsts" that we should be able to share together. One thing we had to experience over the phone is the biggest bummer that I couldn't be there for. It is tough, but then again it isn't. It isn't tough because I can feel her love through the phone. It is seriously the greatest feeling ever hearing her voice. Hearing the passion in her voice and the concern when things go wrong. She is always so supportive and just plain wonderful. We don't panic about anything and we communicate so well and we manage.

Now that we are married and will be living together and sharing bank accounts. It is all new and fun to think about. It is like a new challenge that we will get to conquer together. It is like we are a team. Well, we are, but like it is a game of us against the odds. We will come out on top. And even if we don't always, we will work through it together. I couldn't have hoped for a better woman to share my life with. Those who doubt us are allowed to, but they will see. Our love is pure. Our dedication is endless. Our lives are bonded together. It is the beginning of something very special.

I love my wife

Isn't she beautiful! When I see this picture I can' help but think about how happy this woman makes me. It is a very trying time right now being so far away from her, but I know in my heart we will manage and we will come out of this so strong. Coming here was not a tough decision at first. It was a no-brainer, but now that I think about it I almost second guess myself. I know it isn't good to do that, but it is so hard knowing that I could be at home lying in her arms feeling her body against mine. That is the best feeling I know. I feel whole when I am with her. It is funny because when I was with Tami and I quit baseball I felt this exact same way, but roles reversed. Here I have left my love to go to baseball and it just doesn't seem worth it. That is a huge reason why I know so well that this woman is it for me. Growing up all I knew was baseball. That is all I ever wanted to do or have. I gave that up basically for a woman and love and a "normal" life. Here I didn't give anything up, morelike halfway paused for lack of a better term my "normal" life for baseball.

I don't think I did anything wrong, but it doesn't feel completely right. I can't express the love I have for Mendi. I just can't. It is inexplicable. She gives me life. She fills the voids I had in my life. Everything I was lacking she stepped in and made me whole. Being here away from here makes me feel like a bad husband. I have gone over it a million times in my head thinking about if I had stayed instead of going. If I stayed I was going to be sent out on a ship for 6 weeks in June. I would hardly be able to speak to her or get in contact with her. At least this way we can talk everyday. She can fly out here to visit and if need be I can fly back home to see her. On a ship you can't exactly do that. Of course that is only six weeks compared to 5 months, but that seems like it would have been a lot harder on us.

Dont get me wrong, I am having an ok time out here. I mean, I am getting paid to play baseball. I just can't wait to get out of the Navy and be able to KNOW that I get to see my wife everyday when I go home from work. I just hope she knows how bad it hurts me to know that I put her through the same kind of sress and discomfort that I am feeling. The only thing I canhope is that the thought of my love keeps her warm at night. I love her so much.

Envious

I seriously have the best life. I have a wife who loves me and a family that does the same. I brought Mendi home with me to meet the fam and they loved her and Kenzie, my step daughter. Hopefully one day I won't have to say step. Mendi is so wonderful. She makes everyday worth waking up. She is my inspiration and driving force that gets me through the day. I call her about 20 times a day just so I can hear her voice. It is very soothing and calms me. We are 2500 miles apart and I guess it just makes me feel closer to her. She is coming out to San Diego to visit me in May and I can't explain how excited I am. i know it has only been like 9 days or something but when you love someone that much it seems like an eternity. She is my heart. When I kiss her it still takes my breath away...literally. Our chemistry is amazing. We get along so well and we can talk about anything. We communicate really well and i believe that it is a major contributor to our success in our relationship and our marriage. Long distance is very difficult. We will manage. We will hit our rough spots, but that is purely out of love. Neither of us will faulter or sway from our vows, we will only be frustrated with the distance. I love her with every bit of energy I can muster and I know she feels the exact same way. That is what makes it so perfect. We both know that we have met our soul mate. I never believed in that before. I always hoped, but found it to be a myth. Now I know that what I have is golden. i have won the lottery in LOVE. I hit the jackpot. Four and a half more months and we will get to start making plans for the rest of our lives. It is so very exciting. We have "things" and dreams...together. My heart rate is speeding up and I am getting excited just thinking about it. I love her so much. Mendi Blanton Tips...I fucking love you!